are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
