I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Two words: nipple clamps
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