If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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