Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
