I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
