I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
