I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
