Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize