my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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