If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
