well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
