What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
