I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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