I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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