Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
