I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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