he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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