3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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