So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
