O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
