oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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