it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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