Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do vagina's smell?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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