He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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