Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Is it penis luge time yet?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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