having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize