I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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