He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize