What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
