I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
