They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
