I showed him my bush... on skype.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
