she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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