so that wasnt chicken after all
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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