He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
