...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
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