and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
