playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
