Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
