Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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