even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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