Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
