Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
