If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
