absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I need a beard to bite.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize