Christians are straight up FREAKS
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize