dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
