and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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