in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
