she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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