I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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