I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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