But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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