That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
