we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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