I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Randomize
