operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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