It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize