GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
