You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
NoShamevember. You game?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
