You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
