why didn't you poke me back
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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