Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Can I color on your dick again?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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