Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
