If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
