no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
