1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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